It all started the day I finished graduation and tears rolling out of amma's eyes when she got to know my engineering results online at 9 pm.I was acting Mr.Cool till 9 pm like I always did the day of results till 12th STD as my thaatha (grandpa) being committee member of school I was studying managed to get the results 3-4 hours in advance. But that day was different because I was already declared close to porampoku ( Tamil gaali..waste land that cant be used for cultivation) since I failed to get a job in campus interviews due to insufficient cut-off needed to participate. And anything less than 60 was enough to officially declare me udhavaagarai(yet another tamil gaali...meaning good for nothing) now. Also to give boost to their frustrations I had been to 10 days manali trip skipping the Satyam campus interviews before the result day.
The website was slow as usual and internet explorer looked like a giant white "black hole" sucking list of company names one by one my parents had dreamt I shall be working with. So the page finally rendered and I have cleared the first hurdle i.e. passed with no K.T. . But this was not area of concern for my parents as they were of opinion its better to get a KT than to pass less than first class.
But indeed a miracle happened that night. YES!!! I GOT FIRST CLASS 62%.
8 semesters passed ..4 years had gone and this was the first and will be the last time I crossed 60% in my engineering career. Mum was happy and crying with joy. Now she has an answer at last a point to blabber during her routine temple visits in response to Laxmi maami's praises about her son.
The next day started well with happiness and praises around, thanking lord for his kindness , sharing news that I am now a certified engineer with a first class though my overall aggregate of all 8 semesters is 59 % .
But then at evening 6 pm a storm uprooted peace and joy in my family taking the form of Laxmi maami. She looked like "Ikchaadari Naagin" a serpent taking a human form and poisons my amma's happiness . Her son got placed in Infosys and he managed to score a distinction in his final semester. It felt like 1000 tsunamis hitting me at once and it was that moment I realized its gonna be tough road ahead. I am yet to see more frustrating days, sleepless nights and fights and tantrums. The happiness of scoring a first class short-lived when some XYZ got a job in Infosys with a distinction.
It took few years for me to finally realize that its totally upon us to stay happy with what you have achieved in life than to bother if someone has more in life or is better than you.
My race and struggle was with myself. To achieve and make my parents believe that I am capable of scoring a first class and not to score or get a better job than Laxmi's son.
But this day was just start of toughest journey of my life and I was not yet aware of destination.
Where does my happiness lies in?
a) Is it to get a JOB
or
b) Is it to get a better JOB than XYZ
And then I chose b) which turned my life hell for next few years.
TO BE CONTINUED..........
.jpg)